In life, there are 2 types of people who will surround you, whilst on your journey to acquire success…..
YESpeople and NO people-
Also known as Red Lightersor Green Lighters.
I feel this segment of How to be Successfulis really important because these are the people that are either going to push you to be successful or knock you resulting in failure or delay. Some intentionallyand some unintentionally but it happens. It’s a shame to say it but some of our biggest NO people are the people closest to us. Friends, parents, grandparents, spouses. Now, this is not because they don’t want the best for you, sometimes it’s just because they can’t see your vision the way you can. They may even have their own anxieties that they reflect on to you and they just cant quite see how your going to make it.
YESpeople are slightly different, they possess a ”Can Do” attitude and will always support your vision. YESpeople don’t need to be successful in wealth or knowledge to support or inspire you. These people carry an aura around them of positivity, they also tend to have a lot of faith in your vision being successful by ”respecting the journey”. They will tell you its going to be hard, may even criticize your method or route but they always end with suggestions, positivity and a way in which they can offer support.
”NO people have the power to ”manifest fears”in you that were not even a concern when you started your journey”
So, How do you combatNOPeople and attract YESPeople . This is simple….
• INDENTIFY who is your RED LIGHTERand your GREEN LIGHTERthen learn how to use both of them to your advantage.
NOpeople tend to run on fear and anxiety but, if they genuinely love and care for you they think very practically about your methods. Whilst they can manifest fears and anxieties they will also prompt you to think more into your plans. This may result in your plan changing for the better. NO people can also be jealous and consciously or subconsciously notwant you to succeed so will tell you its a really bad idea and offer no alternatives or positivity. Its very hard to avoid these people if you don’t recognise who they are. My advise here would be to avoid telling everyone your plans because you cant always identify who is for youand who is against you. UseRed Lighterpeople to your advantage by proving them wrong!
YESpeople tend to run on positivity, harness this energy. Surround yourself with those who want the best for you and even if they don’t understand the plan…..They still support you because they BELIEVE IN YOU!
So with all that being said- Today I want you to have a think about who your REDLIGHTERS and GREEN LIGHTERS are in your life. Be completely honest with yourself, this isn’t a task to start calling people out but its important that you know who is in your circle whilst on your quest for success.
Until Next Time-
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So I’ve decided to write a series on Becoming successful in your own rights. For some reason I have this niggling feeling within me to write about this and as the days and weeks/months go by its becoming more intense. So I guess that’s a sign that I should do it. I’m not sure how often I will post the entries but just bare with me as it’s honestly Real Practical Gold from a real person who didn’t have a fairy-tale life and literally bumped, scraped and crawled her way through life.
Now- Writing this Series does mean that I will have to talk about my own strengths and successes….But! This also means I have to talk about my failures and this will give you a greater understanding of how to harness bad situations and turn it into good:
So for today I’m going to begin with something that holds a tremendous amount of value to me:
What does it mean to be successful?
Success is Defined as:
“The accomplishment of an aim or purpose”
Please read that again….And slowly….
What this means is, wealth, riches and power does not necessarily equate to success. Yes, it’s an achievement that should not be knocked but I guarantee that if you asked a successful person what success meant to them they’d tell you…
They feel more successful achieving the goals and overcoming the difficulties on the journey then the financial gain. Wealth is the bonus.
Understanding the journey and the power you possess to achieve is what draws success towards you.
If you understand your Aim or the purpose of what you are trying to achieve: You will achieve it. But I can tell you for free: If your aim is to become stinking rich- The chances are higher that you will fail…… The graveyard is the richest place in the world, full of ideas, dreams, memories that never made it beyond ones mind.
If you love what you do….you will do it well.
No matter what you do in this world, you are successful if you are living your dreams, you are successful if you have achieved something meaningful to you. That doesn’t always mean the work is done though: Sometimes success needs to be maintained………..
Stay tuned for the next post
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Someone’s Facebook post…. I do not own this photo..
Hmmm, I dunno how I feel about this one…. I mean I do believe that a Man should be a man and take care of his family but I just don’t see how any of this is realistic.
It says “should your Husband fall on hard times a wife should be Able and willing to pick up the pieces”
Well might someone please explain to me what on earth happens if the hard times extend longer than expected?
Some women are lucky enough to gain a good education before they settle down and if this is the case then by all means I can see this arrangement working… But in theory women take career breaks to have kids thus ending up a few years behind. Or graduating university then having kids before they even begin a career. Resulting in her first role during that hard time being entry/graduate level.
So Head Husband, can her salary cover you, the MORTGAGE, KIDS, BILLS and your Ass? I very much doubt it.
What I feel is complete nonsense is this post, it’s unrealistic to the current climate, it’s unrealistic about life in general. Women certainly should NOT be expected to stay at home and tend to the house and kids. Young girls should be inspired to get a great education, build amazing careers and settle down in happy secure relationships.
The bottom line is life NEVER goes the way we plan and if a mum really plays the role of a kept woman than what has she really done for herself? Raising kids is a great achievement but for me, it can’t be the only achievement…. I’ve seen cases where once the kids have moved out some mum’s start working to build their pension. I’m a firm believer that when I retire….I retire, it pains me to see those grannies working in Tesco’s and you know they might be working to top their pension. Or their Husband has passed away and she spent all her married years tending to others that she never done anything for herself so this little supermarket job is the highlight of her day.
That certainly couldn’t be the life I would lead nor would I welcome that life for my daughter. I believe a strong relationship is based on personal strengths being utilised to make it work to serve as an advantage. No relationship is easy but I just don’t agree in gender specific roles anymore.
But hay what do I know, I’m just the kinda woman that will be successful and work with my man for him to be successful if he’s not there yet. 🤷🏽♀️
Thursday 12th April happened to be a very special day! Not only was it a day where I got some much needed quality time with my eldest daughter; but also a day to remember as Shamaya and I were invited to the St Martins Theatre in London. We were invited to celebrate the 66th Anniversary of Agatha Christie’s The Mousetrap which happens to have broken the world record of being the longest running show.
Now due to time constraints and being a single working mum, going to the theatre is not usually the first thing I think of doing in my spare time, not to mention the previous show I saw was so boring It had put me off from considering smaller productions.
Needless to say I was somewhat apprehensive about this show, now I usually go to the theatre at least twice a year and I’m probably the most critical person they could have invited. I expect perfection, I crave a good storyline and fantastic acting. I like to feel as if I’m a fly on the wall in someone’s home. It needs to be as authentic as possible to grip me.
“I was left stunned and speechless. By far the best murder mystery storyline. Raw acting and interesting characters”
The story is about a murder that has taken place. An unsuspecting group of guest staying in a remote countryside guest house realise they have a murderer amongst them and try to work out “whodunnit.”
This whodunnit it storyline is such a common storyline but the way in which it had been executed in The Mousetrap is what sets it apart from other mystery productions.
Like I said, the acting was so fantastic it was believable, I even managed to develop a favourite character and every time he spoke I’d find myself with a huge grin.
Mr Christopher Wren (played by Liam Jefford, young man)
He gave the story the comedy it needed to make it light and enjoyable, he was by far the most intriguing individual within the cast and had the audience in fits of laughter on several occasions.
As you can see it was only a cast of 8 but one thing I have learnt is that there is nothing wrong with a smaller production if the storyline can be executed so perfectly and the actors are phenomenal.
For over 60 years the secret of “whodunnit” has been the best kept secret in theatrical history. Now, I know it would be much easier me telling you all who the culprit is but to be honest you must watch the show.
I feel that for a production to be running for so long, maintain a hype around whodunnit for over 60 decades and have such talented actors it’s worth a visit.
For families, it’s not suitable for under 5’s and I’d honestly say I’d probably not take a child below 7. Nonetheless if you can go, I’d recommend taking the family and making an evening of it….. have a running bet on who the killer is.
Why not go on a date: Whoever gets it wrong foots the bill for dinner!
Honestly have fun- It’s worth it!
So I thought I’d switch it up a bit and write about why I think I’m pretty great at Motherhood. Sometimes, I get so consumed in what I’m not doing as a mother that I forget to give myself props for what I actually do get right. So here I go….
10 things that make me an amazing Mother:
So guy, these are my 10 reasons for why I feel I rock at motherhood.
I hope you enjoyed this post, why not join in! Even if you’re not a blogger or into social media much…why not jot a few things down about why your an amazing mother! Let’s sprinkle some positivity!
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So yesterday was the last session of Speech and Language Therapy for Amzah and I’m absolutely thrilled. As some of you may know from reading my previous posts such as: My son has Speech and Language Delay
Amzah has a developmental delay that causes difficulties in day-to-day living, it literally became the most exhausting issue of my life and truth be told I didn’t blog about it because it honestly irritated me that I couldn’t document major changes.
Back in spring 2017 he started with a new Speech and Language Therapist as his last one went awol (and sorry to say especially regarding my fellow NHS workers but she was terrible at her job and paid no attention to the real issue at hand which was his understanding, speech and attention)
His new therapist Deb took me seriously, understanding my desperation to get him on track and had a proper discussion with me about where he was and what I could expect from the sessions. It was exactly what should have been done in the beginning, and she was 100% committed to working with him and would often email me after every session with worksheets and additional information. Unfortunately she went back home to Australia and after months of commitment to Amzah she referred us on to be taken over by another SALT. So today we done a full communication and understanding assessment with this new Therapist and my little champ passed, she said we don’t need to come anymore and I couldn’t be happier! Finally I get a break! Finally there’s progression!
“I took Amzah to speech and Language Therapy in my lunch break at work. We woke up at 5am to start his worksheets, and I never ever asked for help” We were a team and we worked well together!
These past 2 years since Amzah started on the road of Diagnosis’s, pediatricians and Speech and Language have been so exhausting and draining. I often wondered how I was going to get through another day, another session, another stupid unsuccessful diagnosis and today….for the first time ever I felt free. I saw progress….
I feel extremely proud of myself as out of all those months of Therapy I managed to juggle a ridiculous schedule week after week single-handedly. Looking back on it, I don’t know how I did it, especially with my business getting started in the mix nonetheless It just feels amazing to know all my hard work has paid off.
Mostly, I’m super proud of Amzah for all his hard work, it was far from easy but the progress he’s made is phenomenal and shows how dedicated he is to making life just that little bit easier for himself and others around him.
“It must be so lonely not being able to fully communicate and comprehend the world around you… It must be terribly exhausting to only manage to express your feelings through anger and shame……”
Unfortunately we are not out of the woods just yet he will be re-referred back to the pediatricians as it’s finally clear to see that his delay is not due to his Speech and Language but may be attributed to more Autism/ADHD but truth be told……..I’m so bloody done with the label, my son is one boss ass kid, albeit he has difficulties but he’s freaking amazing and has proved that children with additional needs can do well if given the right support and dedication not just from family but the healthcare professionals working with them.
With all that said I am one very happy mama right now and my boy “The Amazing Amzah” rocks!
Until Next Time!
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I’d also love to know if any other parents have experienced something similar!
Full-fill this beautiful garden
This place of love and light,
Let the rosebuds blossom and the rain dews hang ever so slight
That i may be a child of love, a child of joy indeed.
Handle a jug of life with water
As you plant this seed.
Happy Valentine’s Day ❤️❤️❤️
Now, I’ve been avoiding talking about this for a long time, mainly because I honestly felt I wasn’t strong enough to make this declaration. But you know what, I’m doing it.
Guys! I’m celibate, I’m not perfect and my gosh it’s hard but I’m trying. I’ll be honest, after another failed relationship I felt it was time I really started to appreciate my worth, now what a better way to do it then not having sex.
Now this is just my opinion and really revolves around my own experience but I feel that in my case: If you have had more of a troublesome past or in a case where choices have been taken from you, you use sex a tool, a form of power. You end up with more sexual partners, and what once felt good and feels like your in control, starts to spiral out of control and I personally end up broken hearted and depressed.
I had to do a lot of self-reflection about what was causing these relationship failures it’s easier to blame men and trust me my ex’s played major roles. BUT; what did I do to contribute to these failures.
Again, using sex as almost a numbing tool, “As long as someone loves me, I’ll be ok” little did I know or pay much attention to the difference between Lust and Love.
I absolutely loved having a family, someone to come home to, cook with and build memories, but there were underlying issues:
PTSD: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Just another diagnosis to add to the pot, It took over 2 years to even watch a wedding show on tv after my failed engagement. I mistakenly walked right into another relationship with all these fears of commitment and needless to say, it failed. I was still carrying far too much baggage from previous encounters and my biggest fears became my reality.
It was a process, I changed my number, tried to find myself and did something even I would say was drastic.
I went on Tinder, (read my Tinder date gone wrong 😂) i used it more as a tool, I was never use to having people in my life for a season and struggled when they left. So I made it my business to date, make that decision whether someone was worth my time and energy and who would be able to remain interested in me without SEX.
Result: Not one!
Back to celibacy, So I figured, If no one sees my worth and value then I must concentrate on myself. I must see my worth and not use SEX as a way to entice a man to be with me.
“Relationships don’t have to revolve around sex”
I think self reflection is key to progression and I needed to acknowledge that having sex was restricting me from finding true happiness. So I stopped. Reluctantly…..
I started reading my Bible again and started praying, genuinely praying to help me heal from issues I believed were over but carried a invisible cloud above my head.
Now, I am Christian but me choosing to become celibate was more about me than God. It was actually because it’s something I’ve never tried and by my standards I’ve failed with everything thing else so why not try something different?
“Sexual gratification is no fun (for me) without love”
So for however long it takes I’m going to write my thoughts and feelings about this journey on here until I make it to Marriage.
Wish me Luck!
If anyone here has waited until marriage or attempted waiting after previously being sexually active. What was your experiences and I would love to know…Was it worth the Wait?
With Love x
Well, where do I start with this one? It was a beautiful spring day…… This dude was at least a 8/10, handsome, blue eyes, blonde hair petite but fitness for days. We started talking about spiritual things, you know, God, reincarnation, angels, spirit guides. You name it, we covered it….. Ihave an interest in these things…..
I should have known he was a little off when he turned up at the park I was at after explaining I was going for a walk to do mind prep for my blog. To be fair I thought he was joking, I mean seriously joking. So much so, that I arrived at the park 2 hours after I initially said I would be there.
I then get a message, “I can see you” Well you can imagine my surprise. But seriously thought “ok, he’s here lets just do this, see where it goes, I mean heck it will be an interesting encounter to look back on. right? RIGHT!
So he approaches me and introduces himself, he’s a lot smaller than his picture, still stunning but only about 5ft 4. Tiny dude especially as im 5ft 2! We get to talking and he seems rather interested to talk about my fears and anxiety. Weird right? I guess im smitten by his looks and entertain his weird questions. We spoke for an hour or so, all which he seemed to be interested in my story… I’m honestly thinking he’s interested in me and wants to get to know me better.
”Never date a Therapist or Life Coach….Unless you plan on being psycoanalysed”
This guy seems to get all the information from me but i felt a little deflated, a little flat as i got nothing back in return but guess what? Muggins ere was smitten! Didnt realise what a weirdo he was until the 2nd encounter.
It was a week later and a Friday, all the kids had gone away for the weekend and i was alone, he messaged me asking if i fancied coming round to his for yogurt and macroons… Yes Macroons! So I thought ”why not” he doesn’t strike me as the kinda guy that would be interested in having sex, everything was very friendship based, so I felt safe……..
I wasn’t safe….. NOW before i continue, this isn’t an abuse story, I wasnt harmed physically in any way but lets just say my mental state has never been the same since!
‘‘I should have walked right out that goddamn door when I saw children’s bed sheets on his bed!”
So I arrive at this home where he rented a tiny box room at the front of the house, I enter and no word of a lie, I walk in and he has the environment set. I mean, he’s got his laptop out, lights dimmed and a tub of yogurt with maroons on the side. He then proceeds to tell me he has picked a documentary for us! It was about crop circles. Heck I nearly died inside, I honestly thought…”OK, he’s defiantly not into me”, so I got relaxed, took a spoon and started eating my yogurt. He presses play and I watch 5 minutes of the most soul killing documentary ever.
”The intended meaning of Netflix and chill…..”
So anyway, this dude turns off the documentary as says “Let’s talk some more about your anxieties….when did it start?”
Well,! I’m stuck in a corner ain’t I? So I try my best to avoid his questions and he brings up the fact I grew up in an estate and poverty compared to him.
Ok ok, I know I should have left but “black girl attitude came out and I thought….. “Na F**k this, you gone’ hear me today!” So I stood my ground. I weren’t having it! None of it! It got pretty heated and I decided by this point, he’s a weirdo and it’s time I leave…….
“The dude kisses me!”
I ACTUALLY BURST OUT LAUGHING! By this point I’m thinking “This dude is not well.”
I’m already at the door ready to leave! Like i cant even say i kissed him back… I was soo confused and weirded out by him, my awkwardness made me laugh in his face……
I had to give myself a round of applause for my level of ignorance and stupidity. Like for real I outdone myself and found myself in the presence of someone crazier than me!
Like seriously he probably grew up in the location of the documentary with bloody crop circles, probably was isolated as a child or was of his blumming meds!
Either way…..Sometimes online dating is NOT SAFE. And as crazy as I thought I could be at times….There is always someone crazier out there.
Be Safe. X
Today I woke up extremely tired, almost like I have done 10 rounds in a boxing match. So I get to this suburban area on my route to work and I don’t know why but I looked up towards the sky and just caught a glimmer of the sun beating off of the trees. Blue sky, winter morning, and it just so happened I had a motivation speech beginning so music playing in the background. As this occurred and all of a sudden I had this overwhelming sense of joy and gratefulness.
“I felt proud to have made it….. Proud to be here…..Happy to be alive”
The feeling lasted long enough for me to notice it was there and then in a flash it was gone. It wasn’t replaced by sadness or doom and gloom but more acknowledgment that I am allowing myself moments to experience beauty in all aspects of life.
It really surprised me considering I woke up with no joy, happiness or motivation today..
Has anything random like that happened to you where you have randomly felt overwhelmed with emotions over an overlooked beauty? Comment below would love to hear your experiences!
Don’t we just love Reviews! These helpful little insights that help us make decisions on whether or not to purchase a product or service. Social Media is one of the biggest and fastest ways to promote a business and with more platforms being made available up to date, it’s no wonder you are getting contacted. New budding companies seek out influencers and bloggers to help them promote their product.
As a blogger who not only writes but has her own company I am all to familiar with how the system works when using blogger reviews to help with promotion.
One of the biggest mistakes I made a few years back when I began my blog was I didn’t read up anything to do with writing reviews or sponsored posts and so walked in blindly, unprepared for what was to come. If you haven’t already…please head over to my post. Hidden Reality: Writing Reviews For Companies where I touch on the reality of writing reviews for companies and what can be expected.
For this post I’d like to continue on with the subject but this time giving you my Top Tips to remember when you are asked to write a review for a company. My advice to bloggers being contacted is:
1. Ask what you will receive in return?
2. If you choose to do it, learn from the experience
3. Look up the company, has other smaller bloggers done reviews for this company?
4. Check out their social media, followers vs following, check their images, do their likes even remotely match up with their followers? eg. 200k followers doesn’t = 10likes in 24hrs for their latest upload.
5. Do they answer emails?
6. Do they include follow backs and links on their social media?
7. How long will they expect the post to remain on your blog?
8. Just because you did a review doesn’t necessarily mean you will be flooded by companies coming to you for reviews or sponsored posts. It honestly comes in waves.
9. Write reviews in relation to your blog! Don’t write random reviews about the latest protein powder if your a travel blog and if you really want to write the post use your writing skills to somehow relate travelling with protein powder in the most unnoticeable way.
10. Don’t loose you passion, writing reviews, especially if they’re unpaid can be extremely tedious and kill your creativity so ensure you remain passionate about the material you are putting out there.
Your blog is also a representation of YOUR brand!
Hello, is anyone out there?
Its cold out here, I’m cold but yet its 30 degrees in the shade. every thing i once knew to be has begun to fade.
My joy, my hope, feelings of affirmation, dedication and the glimmer of hope through motivation cease to exist and this has become my plea through desperation.
We are one Nation, but amongst all these lives it’s like i need rights to visitation just to get your attention. Words so hard to speak there’s not point to mention… The lifestyle and motivation tickets that i booked for that convention.
So is there any point to mention i havent seen my friend in four months and my family in 9. I guess we just don’t have the time, but yet i can sit here typing… stringing words together that rhyme. Then validate my reasonings with busyness and time…
Did you hear that line? Busyness and time, we move so fast in this world like we’ll receive a fine so we make excuses using responsibilities and Time and we never have to pay out a dime.
You know really, life’s not fair we have people suffering, the rich living in glass houses while others in despair. Lives are lost on a daily but people continue without care. Last night I made a prayer, something deep and personal, tears crying and forming a river breaking trough every layer that made me numb.
I guess the rule of thumb is to desensitize yourself for seeing a man with a gun. Seeing a man with a knife take a life knowing deep down hes carried a weapon only twice but this gave power enough to take a life.
This can’t be my sons! never will they take a life with a gun or feel the need to go on the run for something that they have done, only to sit in the docking stand mouthing
“I’m sorry mum!”
No wait! Life was supposed to be fun the only time we had to run was playing 44 home and knock down ginger and that never involved a gun!
I’m now a mum! my biggest role is protection and ensuring my sons know right from wrong through self-reflection.
But you see, it’s the trend of this world to idolize bigots and Instagram girls, rob 3rd world countries of diamonds and pearls and question the true intentions of the couples that swirl.
Its like really, do we have nothing better to do. could we not spare a thought for what others go through stop acting senseless and paying peekaboo. And take a second to consider, that if I were you, would I have the strength to walk a day in your shoes.
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