I had this interesting conversation with my therapist this week. Yes I have a therapist, I need one with 3 Jobs (one high NHS position) and 3 kids muddling through as a single mum.
I explained to her that I’m loosing Hope and Faith in regards to relationships, especially good men and she responded with……
“No Leah…..Perhaps your just becoming a realist; might it be that you have come to the realisation that the fairytale you have been seeking doesn’t exist”
Well I’d be lying if I didn’t admit she irritated me at that point! Who said I wanted to be a realist? Maybe, just maybe believing in a possible fairytale outcome to my life is exactly what I needed…….Having HOPE + FAITH is exactly what I need.
I responded with “But, you see, It is dangerous for me to loose all faith and hope….” At the moment she gave me a side eyed glance and prodded me to go deeper into this notion of “Danger”. I chose to change the subject….
You see, It was at that moment that I realised that she wouldn’t understand. My faith and my hope has gotten me thus far and to almost loose it is dangerous to someone who walks in faith and believes in hope. It’s as much spiritual as anything else and I needed the two hand in hand, to achieve my goals and to thrive.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a realist, I mean, if there is anyone who knows what reality feels like vs the ideal, it’s me! But that glimmer of hope and faith is what keeps me going and it almost felt as though without saying in so many words, this therapist said “It’s time to grow up Leah, fairytales don’t exists……”
A man without Hope and Faith is a man who has nothing….
Maybe I needed her to say I’m becoming a “Realist” maybe I needed this therapist to challenge me…..Maybe I needed reminding of my belief’s and my own power, because ever since she said it, I’ve been determined to prove her wrong.
I am not a Realist!, nor am I slowly becoming one. I walk in Faith and I have Hope that despite any troubles I face I will overcome them and still win!
I do believe in fairytales, I do….I do….