Ok- so I’ll admit, I don’t look like I have kids. But, to be honest who wants to look like they are exhausted and constantly busy.
I’m not saying I try hard not to look like I have kids but I certainly don’t go the extra mile to broadcast them through my face and outfits.
I’m not a young mum anymore. I’m an average aged mother like all the other mums out there approaching 30 with a few kids. Granted I have a pre-teen but heck I still got a kid who’s 5 (don’t know what you call them) and a Toddler!
And still I carry a look of “mamma’s got her sh*t together. As I’m not an influencer I don’t have thousands of followers, I don’t feel the need to fake it. I don’t feel as though I need to swap the trackies to take a picture in a sexy number to look like I’m bossing motherhood. I just simply am. Naturally.
And you know….I think I’ve figured out why I don’t look like I have kids…..
I’m independent and I have my own identity.
Now, that’s not to say all mothers loose their identities but naturally when you become a mother your priorities change and now you put you kids before your own needs. You sacrifice time alone to take a sh*t to share that moment with a kid who’s probably going to drown themselves in bog roll before you’ve even had a chance to wipe your ass…
I didn’t have the same experiences as a mother who had a life before settling down to have kids. I was a kid who had a kid. I didn’t know who I was or who I wanted to be, then I had this kid that I had to parent. As the years went by, I defined who I was; experiencing life with all its challenges.
I accepted that I’m not the kind of mum who lives through their children.
I live with my children and my success is as much for me as it is for my children.
In order for me to do this I had to create a separate life to the life of being their mother. I don’t really talk about them when I’m out with friends. I have days off where I keep them in school and nursery all day and focus on myself. I read books, I go to cafes, I have lunch meetings. I completely separate myself from being a mother when it’s necessary to ensure I have my own identity.
I feel this is what leads to people to think I don’t have 1 kid let alone 3 and I’m not ashamed to say I don’t look like a mum. I get it, I don’t fully understand what mums are meant to look like but I’m pretty sure on one of my lunch dates, coffee mornings or business meetings i look like a regular smegular 28 year old who’s probably going to meet up with friends in the pub in the evening as opposed to collecting 3 kids from a school. Cooking dinner, bathing and doing the housework all before 10pm.
To be honest- each to their own, but as a single mother I highly recommend that all mums try and keep a little independence and try to have their own identities after becoming a mother. It doesn’t matter if you do look like you have kids but it’s soo important to do something for you. I have some form of balance in this weird and wacky life of mine…. and that’s simply because I’ve made it so…..
Until next time.