I never woke up one day and thought “Hey, I’m gonna be an strong independent black women who hold’s sh*t down”… In fact like most little girls I imagined my wedding, my husband, my family, my 2.5 kids and a beautiful home.
I played mummy’s and babies with my dolls and imagined my soulmate. But by the age on 9 that all changed….My perspective of what it meant to be a mother changed. You see; my mum was a single mother and all of a sudden there was another baby, my little sister, and instantly I felt this overwhelming sense of love which was unavoidably joined with this motherly instinct of protection. My little sister became my cub and my vision changed. I watched my mum grind in music, show to show, tour to tour, and yet no man by her side, no man setting an example, teaching us the right way a woman should be treated.
So everyday, my mum got up and she did both roles. Now my dad was around and I was lucky as I had weekends as an option to escape from our estate, but as I got older, I spent less and less weekends away and more and more time in the Hood getting up to no good. You will hear this a lot but “My friends became my family” We referred to each other as cousins so much so that I felt it deep within, that these people, this circle of friends became more significant in my life then blood relatives that we’d only see on special occasions to raid my mums fridge…
I grew up in Brixton the area that people were afraid to travel to. The area where we had postcode wars, people died, people got stabbed, shot, kidnapped. Estates like mazes, perfect to escape the police but a bitch if you were hurt. I refuse to believe that our black men and women from the hood are all damaged. But heck we have seen and experienced a lot. We were a victim to our circumstances a victim to the location that stereotyped us and placed us in a box.
We didn’t have a choice in our skin colour, We didn’t have a choice where we were born and who to… We did not choose to live in the Hood..
“Aggressive, Uneducated, Unruly Young Black Women”
We are none of the above, In fact, I believe us black women from the hood are so experienced and have had such unbelievable life experiences that we tend to be rather influential people, it often goes unnoticed that we even had a struggle. Women from the hood tend to be rather wise in their youth. Now i’m not saying everyone…. There’s ignorance and self pity in every social class but majority of the black women that I have had the pleasure of encountering who had similar past experiences are phenomenal women and have done very well for themselves.
We are almost numb to pain….”OH’ He cheated?…..We Get back up ….. (might bad him up a little though LOL)
Oh, my rents ovedue….. We get a 3rd Job, start our 4th business selling hair or making wigs! (Am I lying though? Shanice from the opposite block makes baddass wigs, and catch her on a good day and she’ll do your eyelash extensions too!)
My kids dad left me….. I am mum and dad…. Yet the kids want for nothing! (I am 3 kids deep and we do just fine)
Black women from the Hood are: Doctors, Nurses, Midwives, Business owners, Shop assistants, Councillors, Property managers, Detectives, Youth Workers, Lawyers, Teachers and most importantly…..We are Leaders!
The children that we are birthing into society are extra ordinary- We bare our scars, our battle wounds whilst guiding and educating our children to do better and be better. They are tough. We are Tough because its all we know, and that’s what we pass down to our children. Independence and Resilience…….. That’s what makes us Independent Badasses.
Until Next Time
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