The faith I have In You

This week, the teachers said you’re not doing good enough, they said your not at the acceptable stage that you should be. One was so concerned she felt it required a GP referral. All I heard is *Mum your daughter is a failure…..

As the days have passed I’ve been in somewhat of a state of despair. Because I see your potential I see there are struggles but I see the success. I see the triumph that they don’t. I KNOW without a doubt you will do exceedingly well in your future.

They make a bad habit painting all children with the same brush. They should all achieve the same and excel the same.. it’s funny….. I never told you the story of when I quit University. Mummy was up all night till’ day break, you were up with me for the most part .. I watched you sleep and typed. I watched you stir and turned my head back to the screen. My deadline was 9am… it’s now 7am and I’m blazing through this assignment.

Thinking to myself:

I can do this- I’ve defied all odds

I can do this……

Fast forward to a week later- My tutor handed me my marked assignment and there in red was 30% Fail! I needed 40% minimum. I failed. I looked up at my tutor, eyes filled with tears and I said ”I can’t do this, I can’t continue on with this course, I need to leave”

He said little, shrugged it off and watched me leave the class. I left disappointed, was it because he didn’t fight for me to stay? Was it because I was failing myself? I left feeling as lost as I felt free. Here I was, here we were.

I went back the next day… I came home and I saw your face. My tutor said nothing when I walked in, he handed me my tools and we never discussed it again.

I learnt something that day, I learnt I was in control of my future… I’ll never know if they really saw my potential when I walked into that class 17 and pregnant, especially because he let me go, he let me leave, I had to see my own potential. Yes my assignment was not good enough. But could I do better? Could I prove to myself that I had a future. Absolutely.

I could never be mad at my tutor for letting me leave that day. He did his job which was to teach me….I realised no-one will fight for me as hard as I can fight for myself. Only I truly knew the desires of my heart and where I was heading.

Not many people believed in me growing up, the teachers said I wasn’t smart enough and had learnt nothing in the years- I was always “middle set in school” Average. Not destined to go on to do great things. Just Average.

As your mother, your once, un-achieving, Average mother, I tell you. Screw your teachers opinions on your capabilities. You are my child and every atom of my being tells me you are destined for great things. You WILL Win!

2 thoughts on “The faith I have In You

  1. I don’t know how racism shows up in your school. Here often white teachers expect very little from their students of color. Keep seeing the true daughter and don’t let the turkeys drag you down.

    Like

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