So recently I’ve been feeling pretty darn attacked, this past week in particular I’ve been misunderstood and judged seeming to have become victim to others unnecessary input into my parenting. I mean on a good day this tends to happen naturally and I’m pretty use to it but recently I’ve honestly had zero tolerance.
I have accepted that I’m a single mum of three and that I’m not perfect, I’m comfortable with that, because I know my limits, I know what I can handle. I also know my kids and what they can handle. I’m actually very content with the woman I have become and the way in which I parent my children. It’s always funny how the people with the most to say are usually far less experienced in the subject, or apply their views from experience failing to understand that we are all unique individuals in our own perfect little ways, thus our minds, emotions and feelings work differently….,. You can’t be wrong and strong on a situation you have never lived. #justsaying
Sometimes I wake up in the morning praying I could just get things right all the time. I always had this deep rooted fear that I would some how screw my kids lives up, somehow damage them….I’m finally starting to realise that fear is not fact! I’d be lying if I said that being this career driver mother was all for them, it’s as much for me as it is for them. It’s my defence. Whilst being career driven has come at a cost of not being a stay at home mum (not a desire of mine anyway) I am well educated and surprising rather successful in my career which serves as a huge benefit when someone tries to look down on me.
Another thing is that my children are happy- I don’t Think they are…..they simply just ARE. How do I know? Because I take the time to ask them.. I seriously ask them to evaluate my parenting and what they feel I could do better. Sometimes I’m left in a bundle of tears once they’ve gone to bed but I pick up myself and I do better next time. My hope is to not end up with a delinquent teen/young adult blaming me for their problems because I didn’t understand what they needed from me 10 years earlier. Heck, it’s better I just ask them.
So anyway this week I had a run in with Mini Muffins nursery manager. To get to the point I was running late after a long clinic in the hospital, I’m in my work uniform as I’ve not had a chance to change and as I get there (3 minutes late) I’m faced with an annoyed nursery manager. Mini muffin had no spare clothes and had had an accident. So she asks me to bring spare clothes but has a serious attitude problem while she’s asking. In the beginning I tried to explain that it’s just me at home and I have 3 jobs and 3 kids to get ready in the morning and I keep forgetting. (TheSingle mum card)Surely she would understand right?
Wrong, this lady was still having a go, telling me about the psychological impact it could have on mini muffin! Again, as I was late and exhausted I took my verbal beating and pondered on it. The next day I turned up in the morning without the spare clothes, (secretly I forgot) and as I got to the door I made up an imaginary conversation that I had had with his dad regarding the situation and prepared my case. For some reason saying “His dad and I have decided….. felt very powerful”
Anyway, I send Mini Muffin in and approach the very rude manager, now I’m feeling strong, I’m a morning person so she can’t catch me off guard now right?
Wrong!!! Flipping Wrong! I boldly tell her we are no longer sending anymore clothes for Mini Muffin because he’s completely potty trained at home and he has an accident everyday at the nursery leading me to believe they are not supporting him as well as they could be…. After saying this and commenting on her staffing levels (by the way the staff are great, she’s the bad apple) she smugly informs me that if he has no spare clothes she will call me from work to collect him 😐😐 I mean honestly, I’m trying my best here! She then brings up the psychological impact this is having on him. At this point I’m furious and extremely defensive because no parent wanted to be accused of screwing up their kid. 😢
So I gave her a gentle reminder, which went something like this……
“If you care so much about mini Muffins psychological health then why would you allow him to get into that position in the first place? He is not I’m my care, I’m paying you for a service, a very expensive service….. Put you concerns into the fact that you are allowing these accidents to happen and sort it out quickly. Oh and by the way your very aggressive and argumentative I’ve never experienced this kind of behaviour in the 10 years that I’ve used nurseries or from your predecessors. Maybe this is something you should reflect on before formal complaints are made”
Now, I don’t always do the business bitch tone but she needed a reminder that it’s not a free service or her personal time….whether Im a parent who pays from their wages or the child’s place is government funded, she is proving a service where she is being rewarded financially. Treating people with respect and being empathetic to personal issues is important and no parent should be made to feel like crap because she is incapable of being understanding.
I can report: Mini Muffin remained dry without an accident ALL WEEK since that disagreement, obviously it could have been done then from the beginning !!!!!
Not to be smug but, Mums know best and I make no apologies for the mum I am.
Until Next Time