Tinder date gone wrong!

Well, where do I start with this one? It was a beautiful spring day…… This dude was at least a 8/10, handsome, blue eyes, blonde hair petite but fitness for days. We started talking about spiritual things, you know, God, reincarnation, angels, spirit guides. You name it, we covered it….. Ihave an interest in these things…..

I should have known he was a little off when he turned up at the park I was at after explaining I was going for a walk to do mind prep for my blog. To be fair I thought he was joking, I mean seriously joking. So much so, that I arrived at the park 2 hours after I initially said I would be there.

I then get a message, “I can see you” Well you can imagine my surprise. But seriously thought “ok, he’s here lets just do this, see where it goes, I mean heck it will be an interesting encounter to look back on. right? RIGHT!

So he approaches me and introduces himself, he’s a lot smaller than his picture, still stunning but only about 5ft 4. Tiny dude especially as im 5ft 2! We get to talking and he seems rather interested to talk about my fears and anxiety. Weird right? I guess im smitten by his looks and entertain his weird questions. We spoke for an hour or so, all which he seemed to be interested in my story… I’m honestly thinking he’s interested in me and wants to get to know me better.

”Never date a Therapist or Life Coach….Unless you plan on being psycoanalysed”

This guy seems to get all the information from me but i felt a little deflated, a little flat as i got nothing back in return but guess what? Muggins ere was smitten! Didnt realise what a weirdo he was until the 2nd encounter.

It was a week later and a Friday, all the kids had gone away for the weekend and i was alone, he messaged me asking if i fancied coming round to his for yogurt and macroons… Yes Macroons! So I thought ”why not” he doesn’t strike me as the kinda guy that would be interested in having sex, everything was very friendship based, so I felt safe……..

I wasn’t safe….. NOW before i continue, this isn’t an abuse story, I wasnt harmed physically in any way but lets just say my mental state has never been the same since!

‘I should have walked right out that goddamn door when I saw children’s bed sheets on his bed!”

So I arrive at this home where he rented a tiny box room at the front of the house, I enter and no word of a lie, I walk in and he has the environment set. I mean, he’s got his laptop out, lights dimmed and a tub of yogurt with maroons on the side. He then proceeds to tell me he has picked a documentary for us! It was about crop circles. Heck I nearly died inside, I honestly thought…”OK, he’s defiantly not into me”, so I got relaxed, took a spoon and started eating my yogurt. He presses play and I watch 5 minutes of the most soul killing documentary ever.

”The intended meaning of Netflix and chill…..”

So anyway, this dude turns off the documentary as says “Let’s talk some more about your anxieties….when did it start?”

Well,! I’m stuck in a corner ain’t I? So I try my best to avoid his questions and he brings up the fact I grew up in an estate and poverty compared to him.

Ok ok, I know I should have left but “black girl attitude came out and I thought….. “Na F**k this, you gone’ hear me today!” So I stood my ground. I weren’t having it! None of it! It got pretty heated and I decided by this point, he’s a weirdo and it’s time I leave…….

“The dude kisses me!”


I ACTUALLY BURST OUT LAUGHING! By this point I’m thinking “This dude is not well.” 

I’m already at the door ready to leave! Like i cant even say i kissed him back… I was soo confused and weirded out by him, my awkwardness made me laugh in his face……

I had to give myself a round of applause for my level of ignorance and stupidity. Like for real I outdone myself and found myself in the presence of someone crazier than me!

Like seriously he probably grew up in the location of the documentary with bloody crop circles, probably was isolated as a child or was of his blumming meds!

Either way…..Sometimes online dating is NOT SAFE. And as crazy as I thought I could be at times….There is always someone crazier out there.

Be Safe. X

9 thoughts on “Tinder date gone wrong!

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