The 10 types of mother-in-laws

When you enter a relationship which becomes serious or you decide to permanently change your name to your hubby’s, this becomes the union of two families and obviously this involves your mother-in-law.
Mother-in-laws are never easy no matter what anyone says, meeting mother-in-laws has always been my personal hell. You might as well kill me now! It’s always awkward and uncomfortable for me and no matter how much my own mother has drilled into me that I’m more than good enough and that I’m a great catch, I’m still terrified about how I’m going to be received. So over the years I’ve had a few experiences of MILS that I would like to share along with a few others I am lucky or unlucky to have not yet encountered.

1. The sweet one
You are the daughter she never had and she loves you! In fact your husband feels jealous because he’s never been treated so good before. You call her “mum” and you could spend hours talking to her on the phone or meeting up for girly days out. The grandkids love her and think she’s the best Nanna ever. Heck she is!

2. The silent one
Despite your efforts this one never talks to you and if she does its so brief it might as well be about the weather… In fact it was about the weather! She barely looks at you and makes you feel like you don’t exist at family get – together. She talks to everyone else but completely ignores you. If she speaks another language then she may use that as her excuse when secretly you heard her speaking perfectly understandable broken English moments ago. When she calls she will ask to speak to her son and then ask how the kids are and she constantly leaves you wondering what on earth you did to make her dislike you so much.

3. The cotton wolf
At first you find her sweet and caring, until you realise she never has your back! She is only concerned in her son’s happiness and you will always be in the wrong above him. She wraps him in cotton wool but is a wolf in disguise. If you don’t make her son happy and she hears about it.. You’re in for it! She will be counting down the days until you break up and will be doing the happy dance and the electric slide when she hears the news!

4. The Outspoken one
At first you thinks she’s so ballsy, confident and courageous to say things how it is….that’s until she starts talking about you! Now it feels like with everything you do your being criticised! You can’t even pee without her asking you why it too that long and did you shake or wipe because it took longer then it should have and now the baby is hungry.. (you should have fed the baby first) Or questioning why your still breastfeeding past 6 months and that she doesn’t feel it’s necessary because it has no nutritional value (ignorance #justsaying) and she stopped and her kids are fine…
No lady…No! Keep your thoughts to yourself! Unless I’m squirting my breastmilk in your eye every time I feed then it’s none of the businesses!

5. The b*tchy one
You know she hates you, she tells everyone she does and even though you haven’t ended up in a full-blown fight yet tensions are rising. You can’t remember how it got here but it just did. You love her son but you can’t stand her she says sarcastic and mean things about you and then laughs it off! She’s the granny version of the “mean girls”

6. The busy one
She has no time for you or her grandkids, she’s actually a lovely lady but she’s still working full-time and enjoying her life. She loves you all, but she has no intention of sitting down and knitting anytime soon. She’s not someone you would go to for parental advise because she would need to book you into her diary and she is never available for grandmother duties. Heck; your lucky if she’s available for Christmas because it’s quite likely she’s booked herself in for a Caribbean cruise. This type barely gives you any trouble because she’s hardly ever around.

6. The cool one
She might as well be your age! She’s young and hip, and looks amazing, she always invites you along to exercise with her or go to a bar! She gets you! and never gets involved in your lovers tiff because she understands it happens and your youngsters. But, don’t go asking her to babysit, that’s not her thing! She had her kids and she’s not planning on going back down that road again.

7. The original housewife one
She’s a clean freak and expects your home to look spotless even with an army load of rugrats. She has a fit if she sees dust or a dirty sink, matter of fact she might actually get out the duster and start doing it for you. She’s always judging your cleanliness and you hate when she comes round for an inspection. Sorry I mean to see the grandkids.

8. The ancient one
Full of wisdom and class, she had your husband late in life and she’s seen and experienced much. You can’t help but respect her because she reminds you of your Nanna Pat and even though she can’t keep up enough to help out with the kids she knits the best Cardigans.

9. The judgemental one
You can never do anything right, she’s always watching you and commenting on your parental methods. Everything she did is what you should be doing and if you don’t you FAILED. She might as well of spent the “21 hours in labour lost a litre of blood and ended up with the mutilated vagina” because she always has something to say regarding your kids!

10. The non-existent one
She’s no longer around for whatever reason and you wish and wonder what life would be like if she was. You imagine scenarios and make a huge effort to try to fill the gap with visits and support from the other grandparents. Or your happy, dancing and not caring because she was a nightmare like some of the others mentioned earlier.

Either way, Mother-in-laws can be a blessing or a curse depending on their character.
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I hope you have had a little laugh today x

Until next time
Leah x