I been doing tons of thinking lately…
It’s not uncommon to hear parents and myself included feeling inadequate due to the pressure of having a good work, life and parenting balance.
We all have our bad days, and there are some where I feel like I am the worst parent in the world, and this is why….
- I don’t always have the time to listen to Shamaya read her school book. Sorry; I mean I never have the time. I hardly help her with her homework because it’s done at after school club, and when she brings work home I honestly have no clue what she’s meant to do. Like seriously, Wtf are they teaching these kids? I’m clearly not smarter than an 9 year old!
- I barely have a chance to spend time with the kids after work because once I get in from work im straight to the kitchen to whip up dinner, then I put them in the bath…..Bath time is not play time in my house because it’s already past bedtime. So they each get a quick wash then I serve dinner whilst they dry themselves off.
- TV plays a huge role in my household because it’s the only way I can guarantee child safety whilst I’m at the other end of the house doing house work. It usually results in Shamaya watching the boys, while I get bits done. Followed by a fight over the remote.
- Considering there are soo many of us, I only have time to wash the clothes once a week. So as u can imagine we have about a years worth of clothes per person to avoid mid-weeks washes.
- Park? Park doesn’t exist in this mommy’s life. These children know, because of how busy we all are the only park they will see is on the TV or at school and nursery. We get in soo late from work ect that the parks already shut. Then on the weekend we dedicate Saturday to Shamaya’s dance classes and Sunday to more house work, dinner and maybe church where all the kids can socialise with other kids, then we prepare for the week ahead.
- I pretty much miss every school assembly, and the class teacher only sees me at parents evening. Imagine! after months of teaching a child this random lady comes to pick up your student and finally you meet the invisible mother. It upsets me everytime I’m asked “who I am!”
Its funny because when i speak to other mothers doubting themselves. Naturally I know exactly what to say to remind them that they are fantasic and loving parents just muddling through like the rest of us and that they are doing an amazing job… So why is it soo easy to praise other parents but see the negativity in our own parenting?
It’s because we are too bloody hard on ourselves! Part of me feels guilty for the life we live but the honest truth is….I‘m not rich, and i have to work.
:Long gone are the days, “especially living in an expensive city like London” where only one parent needs to work.
“Living in this busy city gives you two options….live on benefits suffering on the breadline only to live week by week on the Petty money you get or WORK suffering on the breadline only to live week by week on the petty money You Earn.”
SOO, how do we change all these negative things into positives?
It starts by positivity, Granted…life can be difficult, full of ups and downs, did you notice how I mentioned all the negative things I’ve done….
Now lets fix it!
- I love Shamaya she is a great child, we cook together some evenings and snuggle up in bed Sunday evenings for movies
- I taught myself to bake and decorate cakes so my kids could have an epic birthday cake of their current favourite craze EVERY YEAR!
- I make time for family time with the kids as often as I can. Might be an outing or indoor play but I try!
- I arrange 3-6 monthly reviews of my son’s nursery randomly to make sure they are happy and on track, if I see the teacher I always make an effort to discuss Shamaya’s progress, or ask the after shool club teachers to check up on her progress. Heck I feel no Shame in catching the teacher at 6pm in the car park! #sorrynotsorry
- Guess what! The clothes get washed regardless, no one has died from too many clothes!
- My children spend time at nursery and school doing fun things, hitting developmental milestones a little TV while I prep dinner won’t harm them!
- A quick bath or shower is better than NO bath!
I guess all I’m trying to say today is to spend less time watching your failures and more time praising yourself for all the good you do. Bottom line is to think POSITIVE!
We are fantastic parents and we LOVE our kids and they LOVE us regardless! As far as I’m concerned my kids look pretty happy and well kept to me!
All the best!
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